I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
