keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize