When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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