ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
