I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
