Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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