Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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