I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize