I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
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I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize