she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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