brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
