you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
