if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
