Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
