fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I showed him my bush... on skype.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
