We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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