ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
