i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
