mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
there's paper in my vomit.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
