My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
