Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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