I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
