and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
