He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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