D3 body, D1 cock
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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