He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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