Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize