my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
