you win again, gameday.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
