i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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