Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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