He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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