she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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