I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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