She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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