Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
