I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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