Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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