life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize