Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
