Nicole vs. Life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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