you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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