I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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