i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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