on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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