He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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