Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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(919): View more from North Carolina

No period for spring break; use this wisely.

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(616): View more from Michigan

This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(971): View more from Oregon

I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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(443): View more from Maryland

The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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(970): View more from Colorado

A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.

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