So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities