Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.