she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
