i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize