im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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