she sounds like chewbacca in bed
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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