I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
