Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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