I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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