I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You're a waste of cheezeits
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
