go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
