We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize