Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I forget how to act sober
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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