We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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