I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
